I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
