don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
