I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
