party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The power of my boobs compel you
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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