i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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