i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
