Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my being single is dangerous.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
