Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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