honey bunches of taint.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
