I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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