I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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