Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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