I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
