do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
