Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
