I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
