Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
