one two three fourrrrnication!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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