genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
