would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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