i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
