do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
