She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
