I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
