Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
