How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
