the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The air taste purple.
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