can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
