His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
