i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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