That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
