I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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