You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
