I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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