D3 body, D1 cock
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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