put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
