OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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