I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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