Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
