You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
