ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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