Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
