If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
