So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
