You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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