He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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