I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
