My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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