hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My bed smells like the plague
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
