I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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