how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
