Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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